Today I was kind of down at points.
I went from
this to
this and then the one at the end of this post. It's pretty important you listen to these or it won't make much sense.
It really made me think. I was at work when I started feeling down. That's when "When I'm gone" popped into my head, and it really hit home. Thankfully I was on break, so I wasn't having to deal with customers while battling my own emotions. I was really angry, because I was sad. I was ANGRY at myself for being sad. And I just realized how sad that was. I'm usually one to embrace emotions, but lately I've caught myself doing that a lot.
My literal words to Jake were:
"Damn Emotions."
If you know me, that's not like me at all. I am the friend who will tell you to cry your eyes out when you are sad, then talk to me. I try not to bottle things up, and apparently that's been a problem lately (refer to previous post). I'm fixing it.
Then thoughts about the past, and what's going on in my life right now triggered the Taylor Swift stuff. Glad that phase went by quickly, but I still feel it a bit.
But the idea I came upon just happened a few minutes ago. I was just sitting on my bed deciding if I wanted to sleep or not when I realized I could feel my heartbeat in my leg.
What if someone lost their sense of touch?
What would it be like to never literally feel something with your hands, on your skin?
I'm sure there is some sort of weird nerve condition, and such a thing could cause paralysis, but what if you could still move and function, but never feel the texture or density of something in your hand?
You wouldn't know what tangible was...which is a reason a lot of people don't have faith in God, or anything religious for that matter--because they can't feel it. They cannot hold it, touch it, with their hands...so it's not real?
So what if they had this weird condition where nothing was tangible? Would they not believe their best friend was real? You can see pictures of god, but not touch him either, which is what it would be like with your best friend, too.
What if with this condition, you wouldn't know if you were hot or cold? You wouldn't feel the wind, so how would you know it was there? Seeing it blow people's hair around? Trees? but you'd never really KNOW, now would you?
That's my deal. We don't know how to feel anymore, as a human race. Like I said in the previous post, many teenage girls bottle things up--but it's not just teenage girls. It's all of us.
Humans don't like emotions. We don't like to be vulnerable. That's sad, because we don't like to be vulnerable because we are sure we'll be taken advantage of or looked down upon. Do we really treat each other that terribly?
Do we really judge people for being more vulnerable and weaker than others?
Yes.
But since I'm tired, here's my final challenge for tonight:
Be vulnerable.
I won't judge you.
Encourage others to be vulnerable.
Do your best not to judge them.
